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I DONT NEED A CRAZY THING CALLED LOVE. |
 TRUE BLUE smurfmouse, otherwise known as YUE. Has a thing for the blue nose friends :) 8th DEC is the day. Was from NTU CBC & an ITS lab rat. DBSK.BIG BANG.2NE1.SUJU.SNSD.2PM.RUNNING MAN are hearts. Links: Clara | Collen | Dollydaze | Jane | {♥} |
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Wanted.
Sunday, March 11, 2012 I need sone who thinks that I'm brilliant, sone who understands me, sone who makes me smile, sone who listens to me, sone I can turn to when I seek support and comfort. 知心...
So disappointed. I really wish that there's someone out there who understands me. WORK
Thursday, September 29, 2011 working is such a chore. waking up early every morning. squeezing with the morning crowd. and imagine the agony when you are surrounded by ATs and you have to be elbowed by them. They are the most irritating living creatures on earth. SERIOUSLY. The MR is away. for 2 weeks. one of many many trips to come. and skype is such a bitch. it is like Flook forward to talking at night but it always die on us. wtf. I want to complain, to grumble, to seek comfort in sone but I have no one to turn to. the number 17.
Monday, September 05, 2011 I feel myself going backwards. After 4 years plus I am going back to square one. It is a scary move but I can't help myself. It is back to days of insecurities, whining, the waiting, the anticipation and the crazy obession for the number 17. It is back to the childish me before I step into NTU. I believe I was more pleasant when I cared less, when days pass without much significance. I don't know why I fucking bother about 17th July, and now 17th sept? So foolish. So crazy. So stupid and childish. I am fine now. I reckon I shouldnt care about dates anymore, I was never good with dates - birthdays, telephone nos.. SO why now. HAHA. Perhaps I should change the url of this blog. "seventeenzerothree.blogspot.com" it in itself is a remainer of my fetish. Translation of 2NE1's HATE YOU
[CL] You really suck I have no reason to see you This world is filled with guys like you You s-s-suck Your flaws are countless To just put up with it and love you Is a waste of time Hate you eh eh eh eh eh I’m fine living without you Hate you eh eh eh eh eh I’m fine living without you [MINJI] My memories with you Consist only of memories waiting for you No matter how much I put up with it, and put up with it, it wouldn’t end I-I wanted to hear those words, “I love you” Your unconcerned love I grew tired of it [BOM] It feels terrible I threw all my pride away I’m sad, is this all I’m worth? I’m worried, now, of the four-letter word, LOVE I’m scared, you’re hilarious [CL] You really suck I have no reason to see you This world is filled with guys like you You s-s-suck Your flaws are countless To just put up with it and love you Is a waste of time Hate you eh eh eh eh eh I’m fine living without you Hate you eh eh eh eh eh I’m fine living without you [DARA] H-H-Half the words coming out from your mouth are lies No matter how many times you deceive me and deceive me, it wouldn’t end Someday you, too Will meet a girl like you Once you feel the pain, you’ll know how I feel [BOM] It feels terrible, there was never such thing as a hero With a happy ending, Was I too naive like a fool? It turned out for the better since now I figured you out I’m going to leave, you really suck [CL] You really suck I have no reason to see you This world is filled with guys like you You s-s-suck Your flaws are countless To just put up with it and love you Is a waste of time Hate you eh eh eh eh eh I’m fine living without you Hate you eh eh eh eh eh I’m fine living without you [MINJI] I feel relieved, [CL] I feel so much better [MINJI] Down to the bone I’ve erased every last memory of you [BOM] I feel relieved [DARA] I feel so much better [BOM] Down to the bone I’ve erased every last memory of you [CL] You really suck I have no reason to see you This world is filled with guys like you You s-s-suck Your flaws are countless To just put up with it and love you Is a waste of time Hate you eh eh eh eh eh I’m fine living without you Hate you eh eh eh eh eh I’m fine living without you Translated by GEE @ ygladies.com 2NE1 - Hate You
Sunday, September 04, 2011 넌 정말 재수없어 널 만날 이유 없어 너 같은 남잔 이세상에 깔렸어 재 재 재 재수없어 단점을 셀 수 없어 참으며 사랑하긴 시간이 너무 아까워 Hate you eheheheheh I’m fine living without you I Hate you eheheheheh I’m fine living without you 너와의 기억은 기다린 기억밖에 없어 난 참고 참고 참아도 끝은 없었어 사랑한단 한마디가 듣고 싶었어 난 무심한 너의 사랑에 난 지쳤어 기분이 더러워 자존심 다 버리고 줬는데 참 서러워 내가 이것밖에 안됐나 난 두려워 사랑이란 두 글자가 이젠 난 무서워 네가 참 우스워 넌 정말 재수없어 널 만날 이유 없어 너 같은 남잔 이세상에 깔렸어 재 재 재 재수없어 단점을 셀 수 없어 참으며 사랑하긴 시간이 너무 아까워 Hate you eheheheheh I’m fine living without you I Hate you eheheheheh I’m fine living without you 네 입에서 나오는 말은 거짓말이 반 속고 속고 속아도 끝은 없었어 언젠가 너도 너 같은 여잘 만나게 될 꺼야 아파 봐야 그때 넌 내 맘 알 꺼야 기분이 더러워 해피 엔딩의 주인공이란 건 없었어 내가 바보처럼 순진했나 더 잘됐어 지금이라도 널 알았으니 떠나겠어 정말 재수없어 넌 정말 재수없어 널 만날 이유 없어 너 같은 남잔 이세상에 깔렸어 재 재 재 재수없어 단점을 셀 수 없어 참으며 사랑하긴 시간이 너무 아까워 Hate you eheheheheh I’m fine living without you I Hate you eheheheheh I’m fine living without you 맘이 시원해 속이 후련해 뼈 속 깊은 곳 까지 네 기억 지워내 너무 시원해 속이 후련해 뼈 속 깊은 곳 까지 네 기억 지워내 넌 정말 재수없어 널 만날 이유 없어 너 같은 남잔 이세상에 깔렸어 재 재 재 재수없어 단점을 셀 수 없어 참으며 사랑하긴 시간이 너무 아까워 Hate you eheheheheh I’m fine living without you I Hate you eheheheheh I’m fine living without you EMO MAX
It's when you have nothing at all that you question what you really want and need. Perhaps at this moment I hope for my insomnia to go away. It is no joke to be up til 8am, day after day. No naps, no nothing & yet your mind gets more alert as the hours pass. It is not just tears that start to well up as the clock ticks, but frustration starts mounting too. To be honest, I've tried to be my best in everything . But there always seems to be a disparity between efforts & results. what is all these about.
i think i need more than a bottle of inniskillin. :((((
Saturday, September 03, 2011 Waiting for a text that never came. smurfs night :)
look who's excited for the movie? 
"The Smurfs" movie is fantastic!!! Havent laugh so hard for quite some time. :) It is almost 8 in the morning, and I didnt nap yesterday, so why am I still having insomnia? This sucks. Happiness is always that short lived. a want
Friday, September 02, 2011 
[Cooper square zippered darcy] - Kate Spade If only I have a job, this darling will be mine once i get my pay. BOO! :(
Thursday, September 01, 2011 i think i am a sucker for attention. I think i desire sweet talks. I HATE being the second option. Please dont treat me as a sub. If you want to be nice, try a lil harder. I wish i could scold F*C* OFF. resentment
smurfmouse says she needs sone to cheer her up. make her smile. my love
sadly, the blue nose friends are the only ones who can cheer me up at this moment. I just want a lil love, a lil bit of laughter, and some smiles that's all. Perhaps that is too much. one happy pill please
Wednesday, August 31, 2011 oh boy. I really think i am way too emo recently. I am like angry with everybody and everyone. Just pissed off by everybody & everyone. I reckon that I am seriously in need of a happy pill, to inject some happiness in me or I will turn plain grumpy soon. I hope my life can start picking up soon before I begin to bite the heads off people. I actually miss slogging out on the island. The busy feeling was good, and in some sense very therapeutic. It blocked out funny thoughts, unhappy feelings & all the nonsense. Joking with the newbies that they were such a nuisance when we cab in, looking at the facial expressions of the teammates when i hit the replay button for my fav song. oh well, i miss the taxi uncle too! i miss being appreciated. I hope they will remember me for my song, for my perfume. I know they will. (: all i wanted is some joy.
Saturday, August 27, 2011 no reply yet. oh man. guess i am not wanted. i have a feeling that i took some emo pills recently. have been feeling emo. sad. i feel silly wanting to cry over lil things. it was hard when i was alone. it is also hard now although i am not alone. i feel more alone than ever. is it me? is there sthing very wrong with me? guess the blue nose friends have seen me cry more than i smile. seriously, i cant stand myself. crying & whining at this age. F*C*. LOSER ME. I WANT TO SLAP MYSELF AWAKE. SHIT ME. SOMEONE KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO ME.. Tuesday, August 16, 2011 You should have move on without me. You will do just fine. I'm hurting inside, sobbing silently alone. Thursday, August 11, 2011 can't feel the love, the concern. i don't know how to break down this huge barrier between us. "Ah ma can you hear me? "
Tuesday, August 09, 2011 I feel angry with myself. For crying out of jealously of a AT. Screw me. My granny was fighting for her life last night & in the morning, her bp dropped to a dangerous low that warrants all family members to be present. She was once, fat and I will always rem how she will start preparing to cook dinner during 2-3pm. Today I almost couldn't recognize the frail frame lying on the bed. She trembled out of fear, sadness, pain & all sorts of emotions. No matter how old she is, or how you can justify that she has lived her worth, But she is still my grandma, regardless at what age, it hurts all of us to see her in pain, to know that God was so close in taking her away from us. My lil shelter
Monday, August 08, 2011 When one made a mistake, there is no turning back. This is like my little shelter, a place for me to rant, to pour out my feelings and not worry about being judged. I don't need anyone to understand me here, cos it is just me and my words here. It takes a lot of courage to admit that you are jealous, that you have zero confidence. It takes a lot of courage to pretend that everything will be ok, to be gracious. It takes a lot of courage to pester for love & attention at age of 23. It takes even more courage to cough out a "sorry". :( You can feel age catching up, when you start feeling feverish after a day under the sun & some crying. Oh well, words & actions of a loser. I know I need to be a fighter. Self denial everyday...
Monday, July 25, 2011 I don't know when I will wake up, when I will stand up again. Or when I can stop deceiving myself and accept the truth. Parents argued because of me, and it's daddy who got blamed because of me again.. And this time round, I can't go crying to him. When mummy said they could give one seat ticket to him for my convocation, i could feel tears welling up. But I could only smile and answer casually. For 4 years and 4 months plus I always had him by my side that it felt so weird w/o him by my side, w/o his advices, w/o his love. I wish I could tell him that I love him again, but I know I no longer have the right to. And it really hurts me, it really does hurts. But it is all too late. The heart is aching..
Friday, July 22, 2011 Miss him, miss him a lot. But I have no rights to text him anymore, to share my happiness & sorrows with him.. There's things that I needed help in. But I can't turn to him anymore. I tried to hold back tears, to pretend and self deceive. But at the end of the day, I know myself well, it won't be easy. In front of others, I have to be another person, I do not want them to see my tears anymore. Deep down inside, I'm shattered. When I'm alone, I just feel like crying. Intoxicated
Thursday, July 21, 2011 Thanks to BFF, Smurf & WL...I spent another day controlling the tears.. The drinks did made me a lil high, if only I can be intoxicated night after night. It is that few moments of not thinking that I yearn.. But at the end of the day and you get into bed, you are reminded of the pain once again. Dreams ain't helping..I'm starting to get really irritated with my own dreams, which are constant reminders of the love, the relationship.. Self deception
Wednesday, July 20, 2011 Struggled to wake myself up from a dream... Dream where both of us were grocery shopping.. This is really not easy at all.. Self deception, blocking all things out, pushing images out of the head whenever they come to mind... I have no idea if I will go crazy first or I will be successful first. I tried to be brave but the road ahead is really scary, far and I see no light at the end of the tunnel. I feel more upset when I see my fav NTU friends trying to fill up my days, accompanying me.. But for 4 years plus, there is just too much memories.. When all hopes are dashed, you lost all will..
Sunday, July 17, 2011 I am someone with a scar on the hand, marks on the legs. And a true blue bitch. Currently in a perfect stage in life where there is no need to and nothing to carry on. Saturday, December 25, 2010 i cried during my birthday celebration, i cried on christmas. i'm starting to feel that i like normal days more than "special days". perhaps i felt more lost than ever after taking my last paper. i'm starting to hate myself more everyday when i look at myself in the mirror. appreciate all that you guys have done
Monday, November 22, 2010 my mum came back with a huge smile on her face yesterday and i learnt that my cousin and her hubby had brought my parents tgt with theirs, out for dinner. it's not the first time they did that. i'm really thankful that they always took that extra effort to drop by my parents' shop, pick them up for dinner and send them back. they were the ones who brought my parents overseas, took care of them, and made them so happy. daddy & mummy worked so hard for many years and it's only til recently that they started going out, enjoying life. and my cousin and her hubby played a huge part in it. they probably arent going to read about this, and i find it hard to walk up to them and say thank you, but i'll definitely express my appreciation through actions. safely back from the flooded Hat Yai
Thursday, November 04, 2010 my parents are back in Singapore after being stranded in Hat Yai for 2 days due to the floods that hit Hat Yai. I'm really thankful to those who provided help and thank god for answering my prayers. After listening to what they went through in Thailand, I was touched by the boss of my mum's friend who did so much to secure the first flight out of Hat Yai back to Singapore and also seeked assurance for safety of all 9people who travelled together in Hat Yai. My father called him "the wealthy guy with a big heart". Worried about the welfare of his worker of 18 years who was with 8 others in Thailand, he called up foreign affairs to demand confirmation of safety of 9 singaporeans in Lee Gardens Plaza Hotel. Communication with the airlines was down and he took the effort to go down to Changi Airport on Tuesday morning to book tickets for the first possible flight out. On Wednesday, he went back to the airport and secured tickets for a much earlier flight. Embassy in Thailand also came back with assurance that all 9 of them were safe in the hotel. Thanks to mummy's friend who was in charge of all liasing in Hat Yai. Updates to family members back in Singapore, making arrangements for transport.. Before the floods hit, Mummy and her friend went to stock up (in actual fact, "grab") on dry food and other necessities amid strong winds and heavy rain. As they were staying on the 29th storey, locals were paid to help with the luggages. No taxis were available to come to the hotel and they took tuk tuk to the airport instead. Although the flight was delayed, the plane touched down at 1715 this afternoon. =) Appreciate the concern from family and friends in sg! Thanks to my uncle for calling every night to check on me. Thanks to my cousin for exchanging info and also offered help if I needed any. Heard from mummy that my cousin was concerned if I have enough money, but was not sure how to ask me in a tactful way. =) And to my favourite NTU friends too! Through this little incident, I have learnt the importance of showing concern and also the significance of expressing one's graditude. Such actions really provide much comfort. I have to admit that I was utterly disappointed with a relative who didnt bother to ask if I was ok, and pressed me for answers instead. Her actions made me wonder if she even regard me as family. Its not whether one really need help, but I guess it was only right to show concern especially when you know that ur relative is the only child and her parents are away. praying for the safety of those in hatyai
Wednesday, November 03, 2010 morning of nov 2 seemed promising. i managed to drag myself out of bed, got onto the bus and train on time, and the thought of having a nice dinner made me super excited to return home after lessons. everything was rosy until i received a text saying that floods hit hatyai, and that mummy & daddy couldnt come back today. text also indicated that they are safe despite the situation. wonder when they will be able to get back. it's 2.41 am now and i have to be up by 7 tomorrow, but i have problems sleeping. thankful to those who showed concern. and also pissed at the one senior who was the only one who contacted me and was aware of the situation, yet failed to express a tinge of concern. not that i needed any, but isnt it something "politically correct" to do? and you seriously cant blame kids for not knowing how to say thanks. how can the kid learn to say "thank you" when his/her parents dont say it? or it is that those who hold high positions in their work, got so used to ordering people around that they no longer know how to use the word "thanks"? oh well. guess i'm probably a bit edgy. plus i still couldnt get over the "kid" issue in June, and i'm totally biased against the senior. hence all these complaints. Tuesday, November 02, 2010 can i say i'm *ucking pissed off? i dont understand why some people just change so much after they got rich, after they hold a high position at work. they just get increasingly unbearable. and i totally hate the tone in their voice. i thought people in HR should have higher EQ. |
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