TRUE BLUE smurfmouse, otherwise known as YUE. Has a thing for the blue nose friends :)
8th DEC is the day. Was from NTU CBC & an ITS lab rat. DBSK.BIG BANG.2NE1.SUJU.SNSD.2PM.RUNNING MAN are hearts.
how many times have u been hurt mercilessly by my blunt and sarcastic words?
how many times have i disappointed my family members, the ones who love me and adore me the most? i just gave myself many excuses, to right my wrong. how ridiculous of me to think that a card is enough to make up for my absence. i was plagued by immense pangs of guilt. seriously.
i wanted to change you for the better. but now i know that i'm seriously wrong right from the very start. the one who needs changing is me. a total transformation is required to get rid of the ugly me.
it is tiring to travel to and fro for the stupid psychio sessions. sometimes it is frustrating. i just dont feel like doing it. and i feel like giving up the op. there is no guarantee that i'll fully recover and get back that old knee of mine. i have enough scars on my legs, i really couldnt imagine how the operation scars will bring more blows to my confidence. and i worry about the recovery period. there would be so much i couldnt do, i would have too much time alone to habour all the negative thoughts in the world. and by doing so, i will just bring those around me more trouble.
i dont need the operation. tearing my ligament is just a punishment. it was supposed to take away my joy, my pride, my passion, my love. it came at a time that i was determined to go take up touch at NTU again. so, it was never meant to be.
my heart cannot take anymore changes. i deserve all that i'm going through now. and yes, i only know how to cry. i only know how to be weak.
if only my heart is numb, if only everything and anything does not matter. but yes, i know, it's my karma, cos i've sined.
sorry for those who met me. i must have hurt you guys in more ways than one.
and i just cant grow up, i dont understand, i'm childish enough to just verbal vomit on my blog, i havent try my very best to be a better person.
i ought to stop expecting too much for i deserve no love.
