TRUE BLUE smurfmouse, otherwise known as YUE. Has a thing for the blue nose friends :)
8th DEC is the day. Was from NTU CBC & an ITS lab rat. DBSK.BIG BANG.2NE1.SUJU.SNSD.2PM.RUNNING MAN are hearts.
monday night, i couldnt stop crying. and i just allowed myself to cry. tears had already dried up the next morning, but it didnt take my mind away from the unhappy things i cried over.
for the past year or so, i have been trying so hard to make changes and hoping for changes to occur. that made me a very unhappy girl. made me someone whose tears flow more often than her laughter was heard.
i was the one who wanted to make the changes, and i was the one who wanted to hope for changes. but, i'm wrong.
i realise that there are a lot of things that couldnt be changed just by my own efforts and free will. there are facts that couldnt be altered.
a simple thing like my operation, i could only speed up my recovery by diligently doing the assigned exercises, but i cannot take full control of the recovery process, too much exercises & pushing the limits too far, and i just end up over exerting it. so it seems that the only option is to let my new acl grow and stabilise by itself.
i cannot change history nor alter facts, so i guess i can choose to accept things as they are. living life with a "lighter" heart, and with the unnecessary weight off, maybe you'll see me smiling genuinely more often than you see me in tears.
