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I DONT NEED A CRAZY THING CALLED LOVE. |
 TRUE BLUE smurfmouse, otherwise known as YUE. Has a thing for the blue nose friends :) 8th DEC is the day. Was from NTU CBC & an ITS lab rat. DBSK.BIG BANG.2NE1.SUJU.SNSD.2PM.RUNNING MAN are hearts. Links: Clara | Collen | Dollydaze | Jane | {♥} |
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Why am I back?
Sunday, August 22, 2010 As much as I am thrilled to be back in Singapore in time to celebrate National Day and be back to be part of the YOG 2010, guess i really miss HK. HK is a nice place with really nice people. But I guess it is the life in HK that I miss more. For 40+ days, I have been leading a very different lifestyle. Days were carefree, it's just about touring around HK, going to different places, attending lessons, playing table tennis, playing Monopoly Deal, playing with MOMO & tiny, talking to smurf, a lot and a lot of walking. But that's just it. The only people that I had to interact most with were smurf, wee and amanda. They are all wonderful travelling companions by the way. The whole HK trip would be so different without them. I had the best roomie ever. Smurf's really nice to me, taking care of me, talking to me, keeping me company and of course, doing silly things with me. There were things that she did everyday that I was really thankful for. I needed a longer time to get ready before heading out everyday, so smurf would always fill up my bottle and bring down my bread for me. She was always there listening to my whinings, especially when it came to laundry time. I hate doing laundry, laundry can be such a chore - washing, drying and then ironing. Had smurf's company for exam preparation although her paper was over. She even watched Invincible Youth with me, I know that she's not interested in Korean variety show, but was there with me to accompany me. The smurfs are really thankful to Amanda who was superb during the HK trip. Bringing us around, and looking out for us. Not mentioning that she's my drunk partner who likes to push my "happy button". It's a pity that I didnt befriend this lovely girl earlier but I am just very glad that I am friends with her now. =)She did so so much and I hope that I have thanked her enough. And ALEX! He's in charge of reading maps and getting us to places. And he helped me with a lot of things in Beijing too. Got to know this OAL staff from CUHK who went with us on the Beijing trip. Joey was really nice and her presence did make a huge difference. I guess she was pretty nice to me and Alex. It's amazing how simple questions and short conversations can make a person feel much better especially when you are one of the minorities. Ever since I am back, the most common thought that I habour was " I wish I wasnt back in sg." I've tried to make everyone happy, my family, bf and friends. To be with those whom i cared a lot about. But apparently, my bf's really upset with me, and probably didnt want anything to do with me now. And I angered my dad so much that his hands turned numb. No one told me that Daddy's heart wasnt too good recently. I could have killed my dad. What happen to no secrets in the family? Guess that theory only applies to filial children, not to a daughter who's a walking weapon. AND i feel guilty for not being able to do more for my close friends. So if people think that I treat my friends better than anyone else, then I am certain that I've been a total ass. I havent done anything right have I? Guess everyone will be better off if I wasn't back. And I wouldn't feel so bad that I hurt everyone who's close to me. I have a huge ego. I probably dont have the courage to say it to them in person, and I don't care if the people that I am going to mention will never read this post. I'm sorry to my parents, whom i have brought more sorrow than joy. I must have been a huge disappointment. Sorry to my bf, whom I have treated badly. I must have done a lot of wrongs for you to think on so many occasions that I treat my friends better than I treat you & that my friends are more important than you. Sorry to del, I didnt have the courage to talk to you about Uncle Benson after his passing. I dont have the courage to tell you that he was like a second dad to me, and that I still miss him a lot. Sorry to nana, jh and smurf. You guys are my closest friends. There's a lot of times that I wish I could do more. Sorry to PT 1 too. I wish I could handle things better a few years ago. If anyone ever ask, not being able to be a close part of PT's life is my biggest regret ever. You are the first person whom I'm the most comfortable with, the first person that I dont have to hide any things from, first person who went through so much with. You are the first person who made me understand the true meaning of "best friends." Not only am I mean to irritating people whom I dont give a shit about, I also kind of realise now that I wasnt so good to the people I care a hell lot about too. The sad thing is that I thought I was good to them, I thought I did everything I could for them, but I guess I didnt do a good job at all. Wonderful people walked into my life, but all I have done was being their worst nightmare ever. So why I am back? |
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